Adventure #3 Go Where the wind takes you

tattoo

Today i was sitting in my house bored to death wearing the suburban uniform (t-shirt, yoga pants and flip-flops, hair in a messy bun) and truth be told I felt bad about myself. My son had left for the evening to spend time with his father and I was battling the never-ending loneliness that one gets. So I was going through Facebook and i kept seeing a lot of self-care posts from my One Bad Mother group and I thought “these women are amazing and they are making time for themselves and that’s what I’ll do”

I called a few friends but they were busy and then I began to get sad again until I thought well let’s just go do some self-care of my own and we’ll see where we end up. So I went upstairs put on my new favorite dress and got in the car. I pulled out of the driveway and stopped as I didn’t know where i was going to end up. Then I looked at my feet which resembled dusty concrete blocks and decided I would start with fixing these bad boys. Once I was in the chair at the nail salon I relaxed and thought yeah this is nice but when it was done I had nowhere to go. So I sat in my car again and thought I’ll just drive and if I see something cool I’ll stop. Reminding myself that the reason I started this experiment was to take myself out of my comfort zone as I hate doing things by myself and I feel like a loser.

So I drove, then I decided that I would go price out this tattoo that I’ve been wanting-but won’t actually get. I pull into the parking lot of the tattoo parlor which happens to be next to an adult store and I laugh because I think I wonder what people think as they walk up to the adult store just then the door swings open and a very happy man emerges. I mean he’s all shits and giggles happy and I ponder “what’s making you so happy in the adult store sir” and then we lock eyes and i don’t know the protocol here. Do I smile? Curtsy, tip my imaginary hat and say good day sir? Instead I look quickly away and scurry to the back of the building to the tattoo parlor.

I walk into Ink and Dagger Tattoo parlor and right away in impressed with how clean and cool the place looks. The guy behind the desk Josh greets me immediately and I quicken my walk to him as I kinda feel like a mini loser asking for this tiny tattoo when clearly these people are major artists. I explain to him what I want and he then asks one of the artists, Savannah if she can do a quick tattoo. “Shit it’s go time y’all” Now Savannah walks out, a younger, beautiful woman with some pretty killer tattoos, an equally bad ass nose ring and I swear the best make up job I’ve seen in ages! She’s already like 100x cooler than me on a good day. She’s sweet and very accommodating to my idea. I wonder if secretly she thinks I’m a basic chick who sips on pumpkin lattes and picked my design off the Internet from some picture taken at Coachella. Savannah listened to my story. I explained that my son is a huge nerd but amazing and that I wanted to get something that symbolized him but i didn’t want to get his name (in the off-chance that he grew up to be a serial killer and then I’m stuck with his name-. I mean come on let’s be realistic) I tell her that my son often tells me he loves me more than pi -as in the infinite number that never ends. Sometimes he loves me pi x pi + infinity. So I tell her I would like a pi symbol on my left wrist because he’s left handed. She drew it up, we added a heart and 30 minutes later I was done. I love it! I was worried that my son who’s 11 ( but was born an 80-year-old man on the inside) and what he would think. As earlier this year he disapproved of a leather jacket I bought and said that I was headed down the wrong path and it would lead me to getting tattoos and joining a gang. I gently reminded him that i already had a tattoo and that i would wait to join the gang until he left for college. So i sent my boss the picture and he said it was awesome and i got a happy face emoji with sunglasses. So that means I’m killing it y’all. Either way I left and then took myself out to dinner and decided that i like this idea. The throwing caution to the wind and seeing where life takes you. I may do this a few times. I’m feeling myself grow already. ♡

I need Ideas!

lemon

I need ideas for my adventures! I’ve been toying around with the idea of winging it when it comes to this. You know, just going about my day and seeing where it takes me. But see I’m a control freak so i kinda like to know where this is going. So I’m opening this up to suggestions and ideas from you good folks. What are some things you would do or like to see me try? I’ve come up with a few but haven’t necessarily decided on them. I’ll bounce it off of you. Possible Ideas

  • TRIATHLON : not like a full-fledged iron man sweet cheese and rice y’all. I have double d’s , a bad heel and a butt that likes to high-five my lower back because it sits so high. But maybe an indoor one something simple that might make me love the sport but not so crazy that I’m turned off by it.
  • SKY DIVING : Though the more i think about it, maybe this was something I should have done before I had a child. Something about having a kid that triggers the “oh shit I might die” switch that takes the fun out of it but I’m still open
  • HOT AIR BALLOON RIDE: now this may seem a little weird but I’ve been deathly afraid of doing this since I was a child for fear that the balloon would fly off into outer space and I would die. We know that’s impossible but u still may have to be slightly drunk when this happens
  • SPEED DATING: because nothing says let’s mess with our self-esteem in 5 minutes or less. But it may be fun.
  • A TRIP OR SEVERAL TRIPS: because life is short y’all and there’s so much to see!
  • BURLESQUE OR FLAMENCO dance classes. Because this really needs no explanation. It’s more of why wouldn’t you try this! and then of courseI realized that these will also bring on sub adventures which is kinda cool too. Either way please help a girl out and share your thoughts.

Introspective – Denise Thinks! (ruh-roh)

jenn

So this will go under first adventure Me delving into the dating world. As I was skimming through the matches on the dating app I kept hitting PASS. For different reasons, Too religious, too serious, too short, weird job etc. and i realized “shit Denise, you’re not gonna go far doing this. You can’t tell anything from a picture unless they are holding say a severed head and a kilo of cocaine” other than that your being too picky, too judgy. And then i had to go a little deeper and say “You know what- you hate when people judge you and your whole hang up about this thing is that your afraid no one will ask you out because you’re fat” They can’t tell that in my head I possess mad creative skills, possibly could be a powerful ally in the zombie apocalypse, that I can take a shot of tequila with the best of them. If they looked at my picture and passed because of my looks they would miss out on the fact that I also possess the skills to be the voice of reason in a hostage situation, that I make the worlds best playlists and can order a mean take-out at the drop of a hat. Those skills would go unnoticed. So then I thought WHY do I do this? and the truth is guys, I’m scared. I mean yes the obvi reasons -I could get kidnapped sold to a harem and be forced to do unspeakable things until I age out. (If that’s even a thing- shit at 36 i may have already passed the point of aging out! womp womp womp) or i have to be vulnerable which to me is akin to a vampire being afraid of garlic breath or garlic- I get those mixed up. Vulnerability sucks- and that’s one of the reasons I started this blog to help me be more open and kinda work though the madness that is my brain. In me doing this experiment, the 36 adventures its opening me up to a world I have voluntarily shut out – and that scares the hell of me. I have been content in being someones partner, someones mom and daughter, the big sister, the boss at work but I’ve never been truly comfortable taking risks in being me. I have this amazing son at home who acts as if I hung the moon and is wise beyond his years – we have deep conversations at times and he reminds me that i need to live my life. I don’t want him to be afraid of life and i want him to have many many adventures. So I have to lead by example. On this journey I hope to find love. Not in a man – but self-love, self-awareness and self-respect. I want to love myself and honestly if I cant do that now how am I expected to give back when I start dating?

  An update still no hits but I’m still in. Until I get a hit, ill just sit here and get to know myself better and in the meantime check into other adventures to get into. Thanks for listening!

Adventure #2 Become a writer

So if you’re here then you are helping me in a lifelong dream of becoming a writer. I never thought I would start a blog I was more thinking along the lines of Dr. Maya Angelou or hanging with Oprah while she reads an excerpt for her book club. I had to figure out what I wanted to write about, if it was going to be interesting and if I really wanted to put myself out here. But the whole point of this experiment is to take myself out of my comfort zone and see where the adventures take me. I’ll probably go on mini rants in-between adventures so bear with me. You’ll hear about my imaginary but very real feud with celebrities but for the most part ill keep it nice. I like people plain and simple. So enough about the blog- check it out for yourself and please please leave me feedback!

Adventure #1 – Join a Dating Site

Having a conversation this weekend with my 11-year-old and it went something along the lines of this :                       Awesome Kid: “Mommy you need to go on a date or meet someone”

Me: LOL its been a while huh? would you be OK with that?

Awesome Kid: Yes I’m going out-of-town for a few days you should do something besides being at home

Me: I guess your right.

and then we sat around thinking of ways to freak out my dates like – “Are you my new Daddy? and things like “who are youuuuuuu? and other insane things. I love this kid. He’s awesome.

So long story short i happened to be on a mom group on FB and someone said they found a non creepy site called #CoffeeMeetsBagel and i downloaded it. I’m a little weirded out because i haven’t been on a  real date in over 10 years and dating online wigs me out. These are my concerns:

1) What if he wants to wear my skin like a jacket? i mean highly unlikely but we all have seen Silence of the Lambs and well shit got real

2) what if i don’t get any hits? will i pretend I’m cool like “Yeah I’m so awesome that people can’t handle all this awesomeness” or will i silently be like “Ugh I’m 36 and a single mom and highly un-dateable!”

3) I’m worried about my weight. Yeah let’s get real about this I’m not at optimal fighting weight here. The years have not been kind and I’m a little insecure about this area. I do like my butt though—but you will not see me pose in any pictures that have me prominently displaying it as – i am someones mother. My personality is pretty cool so there’s that. Fingers crossed people are not that shallow.

4) Is my mom radar going to be so crazy that i will not trust anyone around my AK (Awesome Kid)?

5) I’ve been single so long – what if I’m set in my ways? what if im OK with coming home and not having a conversation and binge watching Netflix and Hulu and eating pizza and talking to my Beagle Sami and My cat Goonie? I mean my son is pretty concerned so that’s a red flag but…meh.

6) How do people even date anymore? This is weird i feel weird like im 50. But im not im 36 and highly analytical and also very witty and sarcastic. Surely this makes me a keeper right? but not a “Keep her under my basement that’s not cool “

OK I’m gonna go figure this out get my mind right and ill keep you guys updated. Wish me luck and send me tips!

36 Adventures of Denise

So for my birthday this year I decided to gift myself the gift of adventures. I am going to do 36 new things this year. The rule is simple it must be something I have never done and it must take me out of my comfort zone. I have one year to complete this and I am open to suggestions. It can be as simple as having dinner by myself at a fancy restaurant to possibly skydiving. Lets see where it takes me! Cheers to adventures!

A single mom trying to find her place in the world

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