Do not trust the hooch

BeatBox wine – Trash punch, but classy

Yes it’s 8am and I’m talking about liquor. Why? Because I fell for this gimmick on Saturday and I’m still feeling it today.
Scene: me walking through Kroger trying to live my best life, when I come upon a display for this lovely drink- BeatBox. All bright and cheery with a sign that said 3 for $10. I stopped and looked at it and said hmm. But kept walking. I end up in the beer/wine section and see them again so surely it MUST be a sign. I do a quick Google search to see what the reviews are and the first thing I read is “its like trash punch…” say no more fam, my roots are deeply imbedded in the Florida Panhandle so the words “hooch” and “trash punch” sound more like an invitation for f*ckery and fun rather than the warning most would take it as.. So I grab 3 to try with a friend. It’s Saturday, it’s hot YOLO.
11% alcohol. Meh…I grew up drinking MadDog and Tequila and I are like old friends at a Cheers bar. BeatBox might just land in the middle.

Not gonna lie. I don’t remember shite. I think I managed to walk sideways. I’m sure I polished off a plate of overcooked pizza rolls with my friend. I think we made a mix tape while designing a website. I woke up the next morning with a shit eating grin of shame and pride that the Trash Punch didn’t kill me. Yes I drank all 3.
Sunday, I laid on the couch like an actor from an 80s movie with bad choices only to decide that I should sweat it out on my Peloton- that was a site to see and a bad idea.

So here I sit now on a Monday morning at my desk. Asking myself 2 things:

1) what the hell was I thinking? I’m 41 not 14 (don’t judge 90s kids started drinking early) and

2) where can I buy a variety box of this s#!+ 🤔 ?
Anyway…. drink if you dare.

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