Today i was sitting in my house bored to death wearing the suburban uniform (t-shirt, yoga pants and flip-flops, hair in a messy bun) and truth be told I felt bad about myself. My son had left for the evening to spend time with his father and I was battling the never-ending loneliness that one gets. So I was going through Facebook and i kept seeing a lot of self-care posts from my One Bad Mother group and I thought “these women are amazing and they are making time for themselves and that’s what I’ll do”

I called a few friends but they were busy and then I began to get sad again until I thought well let’s just go do some self-care of my own and we’ll see where we end up. So I went upstairs put on my new favorite dress and got in the car. I pulled out of the driveway and stopped as I didn’t know where i was going to end up. Then I looked at my feet which resembled dusty concrete blocks and decided I would start with fixing these bad boys. Once I was in the chair at the nail salon I relaxed and thought yeah this is nice but when it was done I had nowhere to go. So I sat in my car again and thought I’ll just drive and if I see something cool I’ll stop. Reminding myself that the reason I started this experiment was to take myself out of my comfort zone as I hate doing things by myself and I feel like a loser.

So I drove, then I decided that I would go price out this tattoo that I’ve been wanting-but won’t actually get. I pull into the parking lot of the tattoo parlor which happens to be next to an adult store and I laugh because I think I wonder what people think as they walk up to the adult store just then the door swings open and a very happy man emerges. I mean he’s all shits and giggles happy and I ponder “what’s making you so happy in the adult store sir” and then we lock eyes and i don’t know the protocol here. Do I smile? Curtsy, tip my imaginary hat and say good day sir? Instead I look quickly away and scurry to the back of the building to the tattoo parlor.

I walk into Ink and Dagger Tattoo parlor and right away in impressed with how clean and cool the place looks. The guy behind the desk Josh greets me immediately and I quicken my walk to him as I kinda feel like a mini loser asking for this tiny tattoo when clearly these people are major artists. I explain to him what I want and he then asks one of the artists, Savannah if she can do a quick tattoo. “Shit it’s go time y’all” Now Savannah walks out, a younger, beautiful woman with some pretty killer tattoos, an equally bad ass nose ring and I swear the best make up job I’ve seen in ages! She’s already like 100x cooler than me on a good day. She’s sweet and very accommodating to my idea. I wonder if secretly she thinks I’m a basic chick who sips on pumpkin lattes and picked my design off the Internet from some picture taken at Coachella. Savannah listened to my story. I explained that my son is a huge nerd but amazing and that I wanted to get something that symbolized him but i didn’t want to get his name (in the off-chance that he grew up to be a serial killer and then I’m stuck with his name-. I mean come on let’s be realistic) I tell her that my son often tells me he loves me more than pi -as in the infinite number that never ends. Sometimes he loves me pi x pi + infinity. So I tell her I would like a pi symbol on my left wrist because he’s left handed. She drew it up, we added a heart and 30 minutes later I was done. I love it! I was worried that my son who’s 11 ( but was born an 80-year-old man on the inside) and what he would think. As earlier this year he disapproved of a leather jacket I bought and said that I was headed down the wrong path and it would lead me to getting tattoos and joining a gang. I gently reminded him that i already had a tattoo and that i would wait to join the gang until he left for college. So i sent my boss the picture and he said it was awesome and i got a happy face emoji with sunglasses. So that means I’m killing it y’all. Either way I left and then took myself out to dinner and decided that i like this idea. The throwing caution to the wind and seeing where life takes you. I may do this a few times. I’m feeling myself grow already. ♡