Having a conversation this weekend with my 11-year-old and it went something along the lines of this :                       Awesome Kid: “Mommy you need to go on a date or meet someone”

Me: LOL its been a while huh? would you be OK with that?

Awesome Kid: Yes I’m going out-of-town for a few days you should do something besides being at home

Me: I guess your right.

and then we sat around thinking of ways to freak out my dates like – “Are you my new Daddy? and things like “who are youuuuuuu? and other insane things. I love this kid. He’s awesome.

So long story short i happened to be on a mom group on FB and someone said they found a non creepy site called #CoffeeMeetsBagel and i downloaded it. I’m a little weirded out because i haven’t been on a  real date in over 10 years and dating online wigs me out. These are my concerns:

1) What if he wants to wear my skin like a jacket? i mean highly unlikely but we all have seen Silence of the Lambs and well shit got real

2) what if i don’t get any hits? will i pretend I’m cool like “Yeah I’m so awesome that people can’t handle all this awesomeness” or will i silently be like “Ugh I’m 36 and a single mom and highly un-dateable!”

3) I’m worried about my weight. Yeah let’s get real about this I’m not at optimal fighting weight here. The years have not been kind and I’m a little insecure about this area. I do like my butt though—but you will not see me pose in any pictures that have me prominently displaying it as – i am someones mother. My personality is pretty cool so there’s that. Fingers crossed people are not that shallow.

4) Is my mom radar going to be so crazy that i will not trust anyone around my AK (Awesome Kid)?

5) I’ve been single so long – what if I’m set in my ways? what if im OK with coming home and not having a conversation and binge watching Netflix and Hulu and eating pizza and talking to my Beagle Sami and My cat Goonie? I mean my son is pretty concerned so that’s a red flag but…meh.

6) How do people even date anymore? This is weird i feel weird like im 50. But im not im 36 and highly analytical and also very witty and sarcastic. Surely this makes me a keeper right? but not a “Keep her under my basement that’s not cool “

OK I’m gonna go figure this out get my mind right and ill keep you guys updated. Wish me luck and send me tips!